Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
