it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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