make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
