ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
