It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
