I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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