It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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