I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
