At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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