Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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