Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
