shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
