so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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