just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
