You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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