ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i dont even know how to be here
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
