About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
two words...techno handjob
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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