I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
