he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
