who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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