I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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