Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
