i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
