my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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