i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
