I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
