literally had 100 drinks last night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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