I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
