Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
