Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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