That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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