come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this beer tastes like vomit already
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
