I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
