i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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