tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
