I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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