Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
