So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
