so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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