I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
