She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
