i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize