I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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