We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
