For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
