On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
