my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
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