roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
