So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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