The maid of honor just puked.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
