I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
