P.S. I can't hear my feet
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
