I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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