did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
