Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
