I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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