yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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