hotel room ftw
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
