Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
