I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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