Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
