I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
