im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Vodka?
Forever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize
