Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
