What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize