I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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