He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
