tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
