thus making me awesome and them whores
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize