I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
