Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
